How to avoid the Airing of Grievances this holiday season
Ok, let’s not sugarcoat it - the holidays are here and it is usually a time of great stress and anxiety and probably some judgement. It means getting together with family and your slightly off-center cousin trying to convince you to eat a turkey not made of actual turkey. It might mean your colorful aunt telling you all about her new skincare routine that sounds like its own Netflix documentary.
But it’s also a time to express gratitude and be thankful for the time we have together. It’s a time to look back at everything you’ve accomplished this year. It’s a time to slow down and appreciate each other and all the good you and your cousin bring to the world. It’s a time to come together and look past your differences and see the goodness in each other and their glowing skin.
But how? Let me help you out. Here are five ways that you can have a holiday season filled more with gratitude than with stress or anxiety and filled more with curiosity than with judgment.
Challenge your negative thoughts. When you feel yourself judging someone or you have a setback, take a moment to find something positive in them or in the conversation. Explore with deep curiosity. Make a commitment, in the moment, to find the 10% value in their ideas. Every crazy piece of advice or story has at least 10% goodness in it. Find it, no matter how insane the other 90% may be.
Reframe your frustrations. When you feel frustration creeping in, pause quickly and think about one thing in the situation you can be grateful for - maybe it’s the drink in your hand or maybe it’s the connection with your cousin you’ve lost. But find something for which to give thanks in that moment.
Appreciate others openly. So what if your sister had to battle monster LA traffic just to get there. You battle it every day so it’s not such a big deal. Instead of judging her or disregarding her frustrations, acknowledge her and appreciate the effort she made to get her and her two toddlers to the party. Expressing gratitude to someone not only strengthens your bond but also encourages further growth in your relationship.
Celebrate progress, not just outcomes. It’s been a long year. Everybody had goals for the year that they shared privately over text or publicly over social media. And the chances are high that most did not fully achieve those goals. Take a moment to appreciate each small step someone has made toward their goals, including your own. Noticing and having someone else notice progress can help everyone stay positive and motivated.
Practice grateful reflection. Throughout the coming weeks, find time daily to quickly jot down or mentally note three things that went well that day. Doing so will leave you with a sense of accomplishment and gratitude as you transition to the next day. This is so powerful and so easy if you can make the time to build into your daily routine. Maybe do it before you leave the office or make it part of your nighttime routine. Either way, figure it out because there is no better way to fire up your right brain than this powerful practice of gratitude.
Whether you take these practices to your family gathering, your stale office party, or your third Friendsgiving of the week, doing any or all of these five things will undoubtedly make this holiday season far more memorable and one during which you will give far more thanks.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and good luck!
And if you want to explore more about any of this, learn more about my powerful coaching framework here.
